AN OPEN LETTER
TO PRINCE CHARMING
WHO KISSED SNOW WHITE
Johnny Escobar Salazar
407 High Street
Cali, Colombia
March 3rd 2011
Mr. Prince Charming
8th castle of the Fairy Street
Neverland
Baden-Württemberg, Germany.
Dear, Mr. prince charming who kissed Snow White
After having read and watched so many wonderful and delightful fairy stories that Misters Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm have, with none ambitious, collected and transmitted us since their pleasurable book “Children’s and Household Tales” was firstly published in 1812, I particularly find your story, Mr. prince charming, rather nonsense and dangerous. I’m quite conscious that these stories or “tales” (as they are called) are to amuse people and there are some fictitious nuances that make them enjoyable, but I think your behavior in the Snow White’s tale is dreadfully unconvincing, unreasoned, stupid and irresponsible.
First of all, I’m really concerned about the passive attitude and extremely confidence you have to Snow White; a person you had never met before and who used to live with seven horny, stinky and pagan dwarfs (who “coincidentally” had extra gold and some precious stones). What is more, you don’t realize -or you don’t want to realize- that this girl’s nickname has nothing to do with her white skin (if that were the actual reason 99% of the German girls would have this same nickname); the authentic reason corresponds to her particular and embellish interest to heroin… yes, heroin! And, as far as I know, the best heroin of the western market.
The second reason, your majesty, is that you are the second richest man in the whole world (after Bill Gates) which means two things; in one hand, you could have any woman -or women- you wanted from the whole world and, in the other hand, there is a significant possibility that she is with you just because your castle is nicer than the seven dwarfs’ cottage. Besides, so many people have communicated me that you are quite handsome, intelligent, brave and polite.
Finally, everyone knows that Snow White is not the most beautiful girl in the world; she is not even the most beautiful girl in Neverland because of two important reasons: 1) mirrors do not talk, and 2) Fergie is actually the most beautiful and sexiest girl ever.
In conclusion, your behavior in this tale is not very convincing, and it is not an outstanding example to children; I personally and categorically think it is really dangerous for the children to read “Snow White”. Are you pretending to be a role model? Would you be proud if one of the little boys who read this tale gets married with a whore like Snow White? Do you want little girls grow up willing to be as ambitious, overlapped and slutty as Snow White? Do you want children to trust strangers as you did? Keep in mind that people use to be weird, nuts and strange! Even Morrison knows that.
Warm regards.
PS. Take into account, Mr. Prince, that Snow White lived with seven horny dwarfs for a pair of years when latex condoms hadn’t been invented yet.
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