where am i going, where i have been

Where am I going?

I am going to the only place I have been more than welcome for more than three lustrums, althought it is the closest place, it does not mean it is the only one I have, however it is the one that stands me during all my times, no matterr if they are bad or god ones. Anyway, there, I have learned to enjoy every single aspect of my existence, like getting after work, exhausted of an extenuating, hectic day and finding the tender welcome of a warm family, and a lovely wife who has been supporting you no matter the circumstances. Therefore I don't want to go anywhere but home. Perhaps it sounds kind of conceited but it is what I deserve since I have worked hard to achieve such of reception and I have enjoyed the effort however.

I am goin also to heaven , name it a place or a mental / spiritual sensation, it is up to the reader, but anyway I will be there for sure. It is god's will .

I'm going all the same to the paradise of the quietness, since I am a freak user of headphones (for educational purposes, which neverthless have become more satisfying since I am definitively engaged with learning L2). Fortunately there are still some other faculties remaining on me.

I am going to be isolated of the financial world due to my close proximity to have zero debts. Probably I am going to commit an economical suicide but it is the only euthanasia that I am willing to accept. My monetarial deficit has tried to stifle me but as hector Lavoe , I have learned to breathe under water.

Where have I been?

I have been in glory specially since I got married. Before meeting my wife, my life was an up and down cycle.

Geographically, I have not been in many places. I have not had the means, althought i have not done my best effort in moving me to different places which does not mean I have not felt comfortable where I have been, on the contrary, that is precisely the reason that has influenced my mind in remaining where I have been. On the other hand i want to give others the cahnce to get once the want to look for me. (just kidding).

I have been in the middle of the evil ones but i have been totallly blessed to walk out safe and sound.

I have been also in inspiring places like this one, giving free rein to my creativity, as alvaro wisely said: “It is inner you”.

Stifling circumstances

Because

Because I was in the wrong place. ( at least in such circumstances).

Because I didn't have any other choice after struggling for such a long time.

Because those things use to happen to anyone no matter stratum, political ideology, the amount of money you have in your wallet or how much you defend respect as a virtue.

Because I shouldn't exaggerate in the amount neither in its trustfulness.

Because I scorned its capacity of pollution and tried to handle the situation up to the maximum.

Because one always trusts its main feature won't affect others.

Because although you feel quite guilty, you, at the end can blame others to keep unnoticed.

Because after all its effect lasts only some seconds and life goes on, although the memory of its pestilent consequences will remain in our olfactory retentiveness.

Because I thought to myself they weren't even acquaintances so I might do it without remorse.

(Anyway, one always thinks first about oneself especially in those occasions).

Because after all they had to put up with it while I just felt relived, unstressed, relaxed and alleviated. (You never reject those things that come from our bowels).

Because, although there were some women, I was strongly convinced any of them would know I was the repulsive one.

Because there was no way to escape, the gate was locked and I don't remember if we were going up or down, anyway the trip seemed endless, it was mortifying and torturing.

Because I haven't done it again, at least with the same audience.