WINSIE

WINSIE

The last shimmer of her soul was going out with the sun light, she stay there like a dying animal, not breath, not blinking, not even a frown from her face, her spirit dauntless, inside her was uncomfortable with this eternal patience that kill any sense of sanity. The day couldn’t be more normal, the same thoughts, the same view, the same memories; everything had happened in the middle of that heavy routine that she couldn’t stand anymore. Her mind was full of sadness and desperation, the flashbacks of the last fights, she tried before, started to get fuzzy . She had been defeated by that trap, she had been defeated by her life, defeated by her impossibility to escape, she wanted to quarrel but something out there was stronger than her. There was in her mind a place that she filled up with mind-garbage, just like past time thoughts and those desires that she never fought for: the time when her daddy decided to go away, all her school victories, her abortion, her three or four friends who never call back when she got merry, the day she got marry, books she had read, letters, her pleasant moments, her dresses, the club and of course her mother. There were the desires too: the day she finally gets out of there, her children, her divorced, fights, freedom, liquor, new friends, flings, travels and different kind of things she wanted to do. This entire stupid situation begins when she got marry, she understood this at the third month, when he started to talk, touch and stare less and less.

The next morning Winsie still there just like twenty years ago, buried to the waist in a mound of scorched earth, next to her there was Winnie’s bag with the few possessions she had, her stronger part, Winnie, was there too, obviously since she chare the same body. It was a gray day, the wind blew on her face cold and heavy, all of a sudden a downpour started to wet all of her misery. She knew that these kind of days undermine the strong Winnie’s optimism, those moments when Winnie lost part of her power and Winsie rebirth for a few moments. Then Winsie realized that this was her last change, she took a breath and with her resting energy she took Winnie’s bag and throw it away. Then she waited.

Winnie nodded many times, she twisted her head from one side to another, and then she replied.
– My bag, where is my bag oh God don’t do this to me, not in this heaven day please. That bag is all I have, is my daily routine, what else I will do.
Then a mystery voice became from her. – Hey Winnie is me, don’t you remember me
I’m Winsie.
- Winsie what are you doing there, I thought you were dead. She said terrified
- That’s what you want to believe Winnie, because you are afraid of me.
- That’s not true. She said trying to hide her fear.
- Ok, you know finally I throw away that stupid bag you had. The only think you have in this miserable place.
- Why did you do that, you know what means that bag for me.
- Yes I do, but I need to get out of here, why do you want to stay? There’s nothing here for us.
- Yes there is Winsie, tranquility. I don’t need anything else to be happy.
- You think this is life, you think this is happiness, there is not more that long days, talking with yourself, with the same stupid routine. We need something else, we need to take new risks, we need to feel life just like it is.
- No you are wrong. I have everything I need, I have my heaven days, I have, my umbrella, sometimes I have my Willie, and my bag, not for now but something is going to bring it back, I know.
- No, wake up, there is not heaven days, there is not Willie anymore, and know your bag is gone. What else do you need to open your eyes? If you stay there you will regret it soon.
Then a long silence took place and then Winnie said.
- That’s why I’m the stronger one, because I know what is best for us.
- No. you are the stronger one because what you do is the easy decision to take, because you are afraid to life, because you give up, because you are the master of your fucking piece of mound. You always count with me; you know I will help you to fight back, because the things we had lived before were the best part of our life.
EDWARD FABIAN CANO 0439920